I did a breakdown encompassing the first part of the third quarter, when the Lakers played some good ball at both ends showing off what they can be. Just as I finished I noticed nomuskles had put one together for most of the game (meaning his girlfriend was off at a bar getting tanked and talking to rugby players at her apartment quietly reading a book). The styles are different (he’s funny, for one) but I decided to do a mash-up. Here are his first, second and fourth quarters (read all of it here) and my third.

I’m picking it up a little late here. I just had some great grilled fresh wild salmon. It was so delicious.

1st Quarter
8:05 – Kobe just makes a phenomenal highlight play. Runs through two defenders, avoids the double team with a spin move and throws it with major English off the backboard. The ball finds its way in.
7:01 – The Space Cadet tries his own version of the move and misses it. Kobe lets him know he’s got H-O-R.
6:16 – Just some thoughts right now, The Kings will probably give us trouble tonight but hopefully we’ll find the way to win. Pau has been having a tough time so far. Hawes is actually playing him pretty well. Showing some great hustle. Mikki Moore is playing too well. And The Lakers are turning the ball over too much.
5:34 – Timeout called and Lakers are down 12-16. That Metro PCS commercial with the defibrillator actually made me laugh. KCAL telecast shows an old west style town. I don’t think that’s Sac-town proper. Oh. Barry Bonds is in attendance. He’s got a ridiculous hat on it. It’s got some glitter on it. A man should not be wearing a hat with glitter. Period. You think that cross earring he wears is to remind him of his commitment to God or to compare himself to a crucified Jesus?
5:16 – DFish makes a great steal and makes a tough layup over two Kings defenders. Good job by the kings of hustling back to defend that. They want to win this game. We’ll see about the Lakers.
4:34 – The Space Cadet has some room on Kobe’s drive and kick. That was a beautiful lookin shot.
4:15 – ugh. Artest fumbles the ball driving the bucket and Lamar gets the foul called. That’s his second. On the replay, yeah, that was a bad call. Kevin Martin makes them pay. Really, he takes out his credit card machine and asks for some identification.
2:56 – A little sloppy. Lamar turns it over and then Kevin Martin throws it to a courtside patron in their half court offense. This will take us to a timeout. Thank goodness, We’re going to get enough bad basketball this weekend with the NCAA tournament going on.
Coming back from the timeout, someone named Doobie checks in for the Kings. I wonder if he’s got a brother
2:44 – Doobie steals a terrible pass by Farmar. Francisco gets the fast break layup. 17-22 Kings up.
2:03 – Speaking of salmon, John Salmons checks in.
1:56 – Ronny comes over on the secondary defense and kills the Ron Artest shot. If the ball were filled with hopes and dreams, Obama would have nothing to campaign on.
1:07 – I think the Lakers are just spotting the Kings some points. Kobe threw the ball away right to a kings player
0:51 – Ronny defends Artest and roofs his driving layup. Straight out of bounds. That’s two blocks by Ronny on Artest. Note to Ronny: Don’t throw a beer at Artest.
0:36 – Ira Newble sighting with Pau at the line. 18-25 Kings up after the free throws.
0:05 – finally something good. You know the end of quarter play the Lakers usually run? Let Kobe dribble for 17 seconds and then have him drive to the lane? Kobe dribbles for the 17 seconds but he gets a half step on his man and then throws it high into the middle of the paint for Gasol who somehow comes down with it and lays it in with 1 second on the 24-second clock. Gasol was like a video game version of Randy Moss. There’s no way he should have caught it but he did. Are the Lakers going to give up a good look?
0:02 – Oh. Sacramento showed its youth. Threw the ball away in the backcourt against an unspectacular full-court press by the Lakers. 2 seconds is plenty of time to get a shot off. If I’m Phil, I draw the play up for Newble here. Okay maybe not. It’s Kobe, Newble, Farmar, the Machine, and the Spaniard out there. I’d say, anyone but newble. Sasha will in bounds. Oh wait. Newble sits down. Radman in. The Space cadet gets it, turns and faces, MONEY! That was a great close to the quarter for the Lakers. They are only trailing by four now. 27-23.

2nd Quarter
Kings have been unable to capitalize on turnovers. 7 points off the Lakers 6 turnovers whereas the Lakers have 5 points off 3 kings’ turnovers. The camera shows some Lakers fans looking goofy holding up signs. I think I know one of them.
11:32 – Great start to the quarter! Sasha blocks a Garcia jumper, Lakers push it up. Sasha takes a 16 footer and misses but The Space Cadet is feeling pretty good. He taps out the rebound to Farmar who penetrates and gets the rack. Makes the layup and gets fouled. The Old-Fashioned three point play for a young man.
10:48 – Radman hits a shot with no time left on the shot clock. 28-28.
9:35 – HAHAHAHA. The refs are silly. They call a foul on a Kings missed shot. The ref signals that it’s Lamar’s foul, even though he didn’t really try to get to the rebound. Lamar just about has steam coming out of his ears. The other two refs save the one ref by telling him he should make the call on Ronny (who hit Hawes’s arm). The call ended up being right, but on replay the ref actually made the call that it was Lamar pushing in the back. I’m not sure I buy this whole sequence. The ref called a push in the back on one player but ends up calling a loose ball foul on another player? Can you just blow the whistle all willy nilly like this? It doesn’t really matter since it was a foul on Ronny and the call was right, it’s just a little shady is all I’m sayin. That’s Ronny’s third foul. He’ll probably get a breather.
8:55 – sasha gives the Lakers their biggest lead 32 – 28. The sound goes silent, someone must have said a magic word.
8:32 – Luke decided to sit due to a strained hamstring. At least that’s the official reason. He’s wearing a dorky corduroy jacket. John Ireland says Ariza and bynum are also on the trip but not expected to play tonight or on Tuesday.
8:14 – Farmar vomits a shot that barely hits the backboard. Yikes. Kevin Martin takes the fast break and lays it in over Farmar. 32-32.
6:42 – If I weren’t a Lakers fan I would turn this game off despite the close score. It’s extremely sloppy. A lot of bricked shots and turnovers.
6:15 – Oh. Salmons seems to get a clean strip but the refs are not paying very close attention tonight and call a foul. Radman hits two free throws. 37-22. And radman gets the steal on the other end!
6:00 – This leads to an Ira Newble jumper. That was shorter than Ashley Simpson’s time in the spotlight. (Some might say that was still too long).
Dude. dude. Dude. That commercial isn’t funny dude.
5:53 – Starting Five back in there except it’s Newble instead of lamar.
5:25 – Newble keeps the possession alive grabbing an offensive rebound. The Space Cadet grabs a Derek fisher miss and gets the Lakers another chance. Great point by Stu saying how Radman has figured out how to do other things besides just shooting. I agree. The past few weeks, with a couple of exceptions, Radman has really been trying to do more than just shoot.
5:03 – Artest looks for a foul driving to the line and throws it as hard as he can off the basket. It banks in. He looks like he’s about to punch someone near him since he didn’t get that call. I was actually a little bit scared there.
4:24 – Kobe travels in the lane with a step through move. Well I think he traveled. He misses the shot. Kobe somehow got to the rim and tipped it in though. He’s amazing. I would definitely have his babies.
4:03 – Artest is pretty frustrated. He missed an inside shot and fouled Pau on the rebound. That’s his third. He’ll stay in the game. Pau makes them. 43-37.
3:29 – It’s the Derek Fisher show. He gets a steal and then dominates the basketball for about 15 seconds probing and hits a step back barely jumper over Anthony Johnson. Sinks it.
3:05 – Lamar gets called for a foul on Kevin Martin. Martin pulled up for a 20 footer and Lamar sort of made him smell his armpit. After the shot, Kevin martin took a little a nap on the floor and the refs called a foul. That’s not a call the refs usually make. So much for that “handsome game.”
Wow. The Space cadet has 8 rebounds to lead all rebounders in the game. Nicely done sir.
2:16 – Radman makes a bad pass to newble who manages to catch it. Newble gets it back to radman. Realizing that that’s not his forte, the space cadet takes one dribble to find space and nails a jumper. 49-39.
1:27 – Kobe auditions for one of those As Seen on TV videos after he gets tripped up. He does a few dribbling drills while lying on his backside. I suppose we’re impressed Kobe.
0:52 – Apparently dribbling while sitting on your butt doesn’t translate into actual ball security. Kobe turns the ball over and it goes the other way. I’m not sure how you would describe The Space Cadet’s defense against Kevin Martin’s fast break layup. The best way I can describe it is to think of a Robin puffing its chest to show off its plumage. Vlad put his arms straight down and puffed out his chest as Martin blew around him for the layup. 51-43 Lakers.
0:30 – Spencer Hawes could use some grooming lessons. His beard looks more like a lesion on his face than something aesthetically pleasing.
So far this game is unsatisfying. Bad reffing, a lot of turnovers, and poor shooting.

3rd Quarter

12:00 John Ireland is talking over the action, I guess he has a lot to say now that he is off the radio (what happened with that anyway?). The Kings have the ball, work it around the perimeter then get it to Kevin Martin at the free throw line curling off a screen and trying the quick shot, but Kobe was with him the whole time and gets a piece of it. Gasol grabs it.
11:45 After the block Kobe hustles down court and set up on the low block with the smaller Martin on him — Fisher sees this just after he crosses half court and wastes no time getting the ball in to him. Pretty turnaround jumper. Lakers by 8.
11:38 Hawes gets the ball out by the three point line and picks up his dribble as he sees Artest trying to post up Odom and wants to get him the ball. Radman read the scouting report and knows Hawes is just a 17.6% three-point shooter and sags off him and dares him to shoot, while essentially doubling Artest by fronting him. Hawes is a rookie and thinks he’s still playing against Arizona State and can get that bounce pass through. Radman with the steal.
11:17: Another Laker making the defensive play then running the floor — Radman got the ball to Fish than sprinted ahead of everyone but the always hustling Moore, Fish feeds him and Vladrad leaves a back-heel, er, drop pass for Gasol running down the lane to finish with a nice dunk. Gasol should never enter the dunk contest if that’s all he’s got.
11:12: This time Artest gives up position for possession (a favorite phrase of an old coach of mine to the post players) and gets the ball mid-post (not really high or low) and faces up on Odom. He drives right but Kobe is the help and rotates over fast and Artest tries to shoot over the double team and misses. (Kobe had to help off of Martin, who was alone in the opposite corner if Artest had been looking.)
10:57: Once again the Lakers push the ball, Fish with a little hesitation dribble into the lane then a pass that is a tad low and Gasol bobbles. Meanwhile, Radmanovic has run to the short corner three. Where Artest went up with a shot in the crowd Gasol makes the pass to the open man — Radman with the three. Lakers by 13.
10:40: Timeout Kings. Out of the timeout Stu Lantz calls it — Theus drew something up for Martin. It may have taken a while but Theus figured out who can do the scoring on this team. Martin gets the ball on the wing after a moving screen from Moore on Kobe, Gasol (on Moore) doesn’t really help and couldn’t stop Martin on the perimeter anyway, the kid blows into the land but misses a contested layup as Odom helps. However, Odom has to leave Artest to help and Artest taps it in.
10:25: The Kings play pretty good defense on this trip — Moore never lets Gasol get comfortable in the post, when the double comes Gasol kicks it out, the quick passes around the arc and the Kings have rotated so no open shot. Now back out to Kobe three feet behind the arc straight away, and he buries the shot. Never underestimate how good it is to have Kobe on your side.
10:05: Ball goes out to Martin on the left wing, but Kobe is all over him. Hawes comes out to set a pick but Radman essentially doubles Martin. Why Martin never dribbles a little to relieve the pressure I don’t know, he instead tries an ill-advised pass to Hawes that Kobe steals.
9:50: Kobe on the breakaway, Hawes does the smart thing and fouls him. Notice the trend here we haven’t seen enough of lately — good defense leading to fast breaks and points early in the clock. Kobe hits one of two.
9:45: After a Kobe non-shooting foul on Martin, the Kings do little on offense, but get the ball to Moore with the clock running down and he drains an 18-footer. He can hit that shot, but that is the shot you would like the Kings to take. He hit it, so be it.
9:31: Kobe and Gasol on the high pick and roll, but the Kings try to trap Kobe. He splits it, drives into the lane, draws more defenders, kicks back out to Odom at the three point line, quick to Fisher who is covered (they are not leaving him open), back to Odom (who thinks about the three but hears Drrayeye screaming “NOOOOOOO”) then to Kobe, who in all the confusion now has Hawes on him and sagging way off. Another three for Kobe. Lakers by 16.
9:09: After the ball went out of Radman’s foot, the Kings bring it in and have Artest and Moore with the high pick and roll. Nobody really closes on Artest despite the clock running down, and he hits the three.
8:34: The ball goes into Radman in the post. Yes, Radman in the post, high post but still the post. He spins to the middle and tries a drive but draws a crowd. Odom, who has moved so well without the ball lately, does that to get the ball just above the free-throw line. Then he moves well with the ball driving past three defenders (to his left) for the layup.
8:12: Ball into Moore in the post, but behind him Artest gets free at the arc as Odom is picked off. Good look three that Artest just misses.
8:03: Fisher pushes it than pulls back to set up the offense. Kobe gets the ball at the three-point line and says, basically, I’m hot now. He blows past Artest and into the lane, then when the defense collapses he leaves it for Gasol for a three-footer. Lakers by 17.
7:45: Artest gets the ball in the post but is doubled, so he kicks it out to Kevin Martin, who gets the soft double out by the arc. He makes a pretty dibble-behind-the-back drive between Kobe and Fisher, gets to the hole and misses the layup, but Hawes picks up the garbage tip in.
7:22: After a Hawes foul on Gasol the Lakers get the ball out of bounds, they pass around to Kobe at the arc who drains a three with Artest in his face. Did I mention it’s good to have Kobe on your team?
7:05: Once again Artest draws the double in the post, this time he makes a shorter pass to Moore at the free throw line. That’s a shot he can hit but with Gasol in his face he misses it.
6:50: Odom grabbed the rebound on the miss and pushes it the length of the court. Once he’s in the paint three Kings remember rule one is stop the ball, they go to Odom, he leaves it for Gasol who lays it in.
Lakers by 20. Timeout Kings. Lakers converting good defense into offense. Man I missed that.

4th Quarter
Lakers start up 87-69. Apparently they finished the quarter 15-15 on field goals. On fifteen assists. That’s pretty efficient basketball.
11:16 – Farmar shows his speed on the fast break off his steal. Doobie reaches from behind to earn a foul but farmar makes the layup. Barely even noticed the foul. And one. Too bad he missed the freebie
10:03 – Lamar glides in for the reverse layup. Nicely done. 93-73. He did well to get that offensive rebound away from Hawes. His facial hair is disgusting. I can’t get over it.
9:27 – Farmar and the Machine get a good bit of teamwork going. Farmar drives into the lane and finds vujacic sitting behind the three point arc. Wet. 96-73.
9:07 – lamar tries to make the unselfish play for the new guy. He tried to feed newble on the break but it was a tough pass to make and the ball ends up out of bounds. Turnover. I’ll live with that. He was trying to get newble some reward for his playing time today.
8:50 – Newble is faked out of his shoes by Salmons.
8:18 – lamar and Artest are standing arm in arm. Aww, that’s cute.
8:15 – Newble gets the hook. Kobe comes back into the game cuz the bench was letting the kings back into it. 8-0 run. Make that 10-0. 96-83.
7:24 – Ronny stems the tide with a tough layup.
6:03 – Pau does the check for blood on the side of his head move. Foul called on the kings as he went for the rebound. Lakers want a time out here. Phil creepily holds his finger on LO’s sternum as Lamar explains why the Lakers are a little confused.
5:44 – That’s not fair. Kobe gets trapped near half court. Somehow splits it and finds pau for an alley-layup oop.
4:50 – Nice. After a missed bucket by The Space Cadet. Kobe makes salmons change directions and Lamar is able to knock it away from behind. Kobe strokes the three ball. 102-88.
3:59 – Kobe dribbles through his legs with his right hand and catches it with his right hand. He gained half a step on Johnson and took it to the hole. Johnson reaches and grabs Kobe for the foul. Kobe makes the two free throws. 104-88.
3:20 – fisher adds the last nail in the coffin and hits a three from the left side.
3:05 – Radman gets his double double with his 10th rebound.
2:45 – Kobe walks into the front court and he’s had enough of that whole “go to the basket” thing. Drains the three. He waves to the fans with his fingers.. “goodbye/goodnight.” If you wonder why people hate him. It’s stuff like that. 110-88.
1:52 – The clumsiest fast break ever. Vujacic granny layups it in over two Kings. Farmar created that steal. Good job defensively by Farmar tonight. Lakers just went on a 12-0 run to slam the door. The bench mob owes the starters for saving their butts tonight.
0:35 – Reggie Theus doesn’t have these guys playing professionally. Sheldon Williams made the traveling hand motion while he was supposed to be guarding DJ who had the ball 8 feet from the basket. He actually stopped playing defense to turn himself into a fourth referee.
Game over. 114-92. Apologies this one wasn’t that great. This game was just one of those slogs the Lakers did well to win. We also really benefited from the absence of Beno Udrih.

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Just a few other notes:

The Lakers slow start in the first quarter appeared largely due to sloppiness. First there was the missed open looks — Pau had a layup blocked by Hawes (who I like a lot more than I thought I would during the draft last year), VladRad missed a layup, Fish had a good look 10-footer in the lane miss. Then there were the turnovers (Farmar’s flat pass out top or Kobe getting into the lane, leaping in the air then trying the dump-down pass, just to name a couple).

Then the Lakers started doing things right, particularly the starting five (all the starters were at least +18 for the game (Kobe), with Radman +35, while the best off the bench was Sasha at +2).

Back in December, when the Lakers had a series of defensive lapses, Phil Jackson stuck with his philosophy of letting the team learn from its mistakes. But have you noticed with the playoffs around the corner, that is not the case anymore. Against Dallas, after a sad defensive first half, the Lakers gave up a layup on the Mavs first possession of the second half and Phil called a timeout to make his voice heard. Just a few points into the Sacramento game, same thing.