Mark Jackson Bingo — GUNDY

Kurt —  June 13, 2009

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Honestly, could anything make these NBA Finals more fun to watch?

Yes — Mark Jackson Bingo. Except, you don’t want to call it bingo — we call it GUNDY. Just print out the squares below, get out your Ink-A-Dot and as ABC NBA color commentator Mark Jackson spouts off his catch phrases check them off.

When you get five lined up in a row call out GUNDY! It’s fun for the whole family.

(Big thanks to friend of the site Alexis for putting this together and sending it to us!)

Kurt

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68 responses to Mark Jackson Bingo — GUNDY

  1. Thats goood defense just better offense

  2. This is an awesome idea.

    Next season, we should do this for every nationally televised Mark Jackson game. Maybe we could do the same with Hubie Brown with “Now there’s a good time-out…” in the center, and with Doug Collins having “…Michael Jordan…” in the center.

  3. Thats hilarious, but What would a Van Gundy Version look like? I can’t think of a trademark beyond his helium pitch.

  4. After I sent these off I thought of a couple more good ones. Oh well, there’s always next year :)

    Hopefully everyone will leave a line or two I forgot and next season we’ll have another couple of cards to add.

    And! I really love the idea of making ones for all of the national announcers. I’ll get on that

    Thanks!

  5. j. d. hastings June 13, 2009 at 11:44 am

    That is just a picture perfect, on target bingo board you’ve created there, Kurt. You brought your A-game on the biggest stage and there’s not a man on earth who could’ve stopped you. That’s just getting it done. Kudos to you, young man, that’s why you get paid the big bucks.

  6. j. d. hastings June 13, 2009 at 11:46 am

    3- I’m not sure but I think “That’s just bad defense” would be one of the squares.

  7. JD, all credit to Alexis. I’m just the conduit.

  8. who said “good offense beats good defense anytime of the day”? is it Mark Jackson?

  9. How about:

    “If I’m Stan Van Gundy…”

  10. How about making one for BIll Walton? “That’s just terrrible!”

  11. Alexis, that’s brilliant! Genius! The only drawback I see with this game is hat I would actually have to listen and pay attention to what Mark Jackson is saying. :D

  12. “Time and time again.”

  13. Dan in ChiTown June 13, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Thanks Alexis – the kids will love it!

  14. Absolute genius!

  15. lmao best post EVER. Awesome work, Alexis!

  16. Off-topic but this is a fantastic note from Josh at SSnR, and a great answer for the many critics who love to compare Kobe’s career FG% to other wing players (say, MJ):

    Kobe always attempts the end-of-quarter full-court heaves. That may seem insignificant, but consider this: With a few seconds left in any given quarter, the Lakers often have the opportunity to get a desperation shot off. The odds of it going in are extremely low. That pass almost always goes to Kobe Bryant, and he always takes the shot. In any given game, he gets two or three of those shots. They are virtually always misses; they were misses before he even got the ball, simply by virtue of the situation.

    Consider the effect of this on his field goal percentage. Kobe averaged 20.9 shots per game in the regular season. Therefore…

    * In games where he attempts two last second, full-court heaves, those two impossible shots represent 9.6% of his shots. If he decided they weren’t worth it and did not take them, his average FG% would jump from .467 to .517.
    * In games where he attempts three last second, full-court heaves, those three impossible shots represent 14.4% of his shots. If he decided they weren’t worth it and did not take them, his average FG% would jump from .467 to .546.

  17. 16 — Snoopy 2006,

    Those numbers seem completely unreasonable. I would be shocked if Kobe (or anybody) even averages 1 end-of-the-quarter heave per game. Do those numbers include situations where the Lakers have the last possession with a decent amount of time on the clock and get a non-half court shot?

    But the broader point certainly bears mentioning — Kobe takes a large number of difficult shots at the end of the shot clock and end of quarter situations, probably more than any other player in the league. I have no doubt this depresses his FG% and efficiency numbers. The question is how much does Kobe bring this on himself (by, for example, holding the ball while jab-stepping to set up a long, contested jumper instead of running the offense or attempting to create and pass to a teammate) and how much of it is unavoidable, either because that’s the game plan or the situation permits no other shot? I know Henry Abbott at TrueHoop has opined on the tendency of teams to settle for highly difficult shots from their superstars at the end of games instead of running plays to create better shots for inferior players. It seems like this might be a related issue.

    Also, I’m sure many teams keep track of how many shots are forced by the clock, and take account of their effect on a player’s shooting percentage. I just wish it was available to the rest of us. . . .

  18. JDS – I found three a little unreasonable, but one? Think about it. At the end of each quarter, one team holds for the final shot. Roughly half the time, it’ll be the Lakers opponent. How many teams actually let the clock run out so that the buzzer rings while the ball is still in the air? It’s far more common to see a shot with 3-4 seconds on the game clock (or even more common, a couple seconds separating shot clock and game clock), so that the opposing team gets the ball on their end with 1-2 seconds left. Most often, that results in a Kobe heave. I find 1 per game for Kobe more than reasonable, and wouldn’t be surprised if he averages two.

  19. Snoopy2006,

    If it is 1-2 end of the quarter shots (as opposed to half-court heaves with no real chance of going in), I could believe it. Kobe takes the majority of those (although I would guess more in the range of 50%-75%, as other players do get shots, as when Kobe is on the bench at the end of the 1st quarter). But many, if not most, of those shots come in situations where the Lakers take possession with a decent amount of time on the clock, or at least enough to advance the ball and get a short within normal range of the basket. In any event, I would be very curious to know how many 30+ foot shots Kobe took this year at the end of quarters, and whether that rate is higher than other superstars.

    I do hope that the statistical revolution in sports continues to progress so that we can have these numbers, rather than trying to make anecdotal arguments. Like I said, I suspect that Kobe takes a greater percentage of highly difficult shots because he is the Lakers’ fall-back option when nothing is working or the clock is running out. If he takes significantly more than, say, LeBron or Wade (or MJ, for historical comparisons), it would be good to know and calibrate their stats accordingly.

  20. I can see the point about those shots on Kobe’s FG %. I’m sure it would significantly increase further if those late in the shot clock shots after broken offense were also accounted for. However, I am unconvinced about the assertion that other stars do this significantly less than Kobe. I would agree just based on watching games, but it would be more telling to actually have some data on this. Then we could actually see whether the difference in FG% from player to player supports Kobe’s critics.

  21. ‘Mamma, there goes that man’ has got to be the worst catchphrase in commentator history. Cringe inducing.

    I will give Jackson props for this one, though:

    ‘Pressure breaks pipes but it also makes diamonds.’

  22. No matter how bad Mark Jackson gets, I can always console myself with the fact that he’s not Doug Collins. It’s a small pleasure, but it keeps me sane.

    And for most part, Breen-Van Gundy-Jackson haven’t been too bad, as national announcers go. They’ve been paying a lot more attention to the games, which is where I think they usually get into trouble. (I’m sure it helps that the games have been pretty good.) Even Jackson’s random moralizing seems to have been kept to a minimum. (Note: it’s possible they’re just as annoying as ever, but after ten straight games with them I’ve tuned it out. I’m okay with that.)

  23. Kobe’s shooting percentage is depressed, not because of end of quarter/play desperation heaves, but because he simply takes a lot of really really bad shots. It’s no argument that Kobe has lost a step in his “old” age, and this forces him to take a lot more contested, mid-range, on-the-move two’s. Not to say he can’t get to the hole, but he’s nowhere near as unstoppable as he was in his early 20’s. We’ve all seen it numerous times, most poignantly in the 4th quarter and OT of last Thursday’s game; Kobe took a myriad of terrible, terrible shots. Now, by Kobe standards, they may not be that bad, however, try taking a couple off-balance, heavily contested, on-the-move, off-the-dribble two’s. I’d be willing to bet that no one outside of Kobe could make more than 20 out of 100. The fact that he hits these at about a 40-45% clip is astounding and a real tribute to both his sound fundamental skills and his body control. Yet, the fact that a lot of them go in doesn’t make them good shots.

    His relatively poor shooting percentage is due purely to his decision-making, not half-court heaves. Kobe simply thinks he can make most of the opportunities he’s given, even if those shots would be impossible for normal people. This causes him to take some highly questionable shots. He easily takes 2-4 of them per game. If he cuts them down by as little as 50%, Snoopy’s numbers would hold and he’d be shooting 50-60 percent.

    But the fact is, he doesn’t. Yet, I don’t mind him taking those bad shots; those are the ones that leave me in shock, letting out a very slight “oh my god” as he sinks a shot that he had no business shooting let alone making. Those are the memories that I’ll have of Kobe Bryant; his unique ability to hit impossible jump shots.

  24. Right on, Zephid. Thank you for that. You made my day

  25. Actually 16, that is a very good point. Game 1 of the finals is a perfect example. Through the end of the 3rd quarter, Kobe was 15 of 28 from the field. In garbage time, he heaved up 5 more shots, that you could argue he took while he should have been sitting on the bench.

    In general, however, I agree, Kobe definitely takes a disproportionate number of heaves at the end of games.

  26. hahaha so enjoyable, definitely playing this on sunday.

    What would be more likely to kill someone, a drinking game with mike breen saying “Won’t Go!” and “Bang!, or one with everytime Hedo pushes off with his right arm?

  27. -26

    The Hedo push off would kill you first. He does that damn near every time he puts the ball on the floor, whereas Breen saves his pet calls for particular times.

    The only person I can recall who gets away with pushing off with his off had more than Hedo is Steve Nash, who managed to push his defender off enough to win two undeserved MVPs.

    I’ll take Breen-Van Gundy-Jackson over any crew with Doug Collins or Kevin Harlan any time, any game.

    And Collins’ center square wouldn’t be “Michael Jordan” but “I” since every story he tells involves himself. “When I coached the (fill in the blank)” or “Today I was talking to (fill in the blank).” He talks about himself more than Hedo pushes off.

  28. Hedo’s stiff arm is better than LaDanian Tomlinson’s.

  29. Good thing this isn’t a drinking game, because you wouldn’t make it to halftime.

  30. I think Kobe can easily shoot 50% for a whole season if he just doesn’t take those 2-3 ridiculously tough, doubly contested jump shots per game.

    I’m not saying that he shouldn’t take jump shots that are tough or contested for the “average” NBA player. Those shots are normal for Kobe and he should take them. When Kobe measures his man on the dribble and rises for a mid range jump shot, some people call it a bad shot because it’s contested. But I think it’s a legitimate offensive move in Kobe’s arsenal. You can’t hold him to your average standard. On a scale of 0(easy) – 10(ridiculous). An 8 would probably be an easy 4 for Kobe.

    But there are just some shots that just make even the most faithful Kobe fans cringe when he’s falling out of bounds
    against a double team.

    Then again he probably hits 2 out of 5 of those kind of shots too and that’s the Kobe that we have all learned to love (and sometimes hate). I guess it’s a conundrum :-)

  31. Alexis, very cool indeed, thanks for a new game to play on Sunday, definitively not a drinking game though.

  32. Alexis, how could you leave out “Time and time again!”

  33. On the announcing team. Breen serviceable; M Jackson too vague for my taste (“that’s bad defense”… why??); SVG great in coach mode, tolerable/ignorable in supergeek mode.

    I thought SVG has generally been doing a good job of announcing his brother’s games, with one very glaring exception. During Fisher’s 4.6, during all the replays he’s just obsessively complaining about Jameer playing off Fisher. Yeah, Jameer is a tired guy trying to gut out the quarter and he made a big mistake. But the bigger story is, duh, the unbelievably clutch shot. I’ve, naturally, watched this replay a fair amount, and it’s annoying to hear SVG and Jackson just dumping on Jameer as if he psychically willed Fisher’s 3 in. Breen tries to give Fish his props a couple of times, but SVG and MJ will not shut up about Jameer and the lack of foul.

  34. “Hand down, man down!” has to be the best Mark Jackson has said.

  35. “…On the defensive/offensive end” is definitely going on v 1.2, along with “time and time again” and “if i’m…”

    thanks guys!

  36. in all fairness to basketball announcers, we Laker fans have been a *bit* spoiled by Chick Hearn.

  37. … and newer Laker fans among us will have to endure “the jello’s in the refrigerator, the lights are out and the jello’s jiggling” comments until the end of time. I guess you had to be there.

  38. 37 – If we are going to quote Chick, let’s do it right…

    “This game is in the refrigerator. The lights are out, eggs are cooling, and the jello’s jiggling!”

  39. Come on now, guys. “This game is in the refrigerator. The door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter’s getting hard, and the Jello’s jigglin’!”

  40. so the league fines PJ and the Lakers $25k each for PJ’s comments when he said the reffing stunk (no doubt eh?)
    and they say no action was required for the Petrius 2 fisted slam in Pau’s back?
    go figure.
    http://www.hoopsworld.com/HeadlineStories.asp?lc=NBA&c=1&TEAM_ID=&PLAYER_ID=&hd=20090613#STORY_19514

  41. here’s a piece by Stein on Jerry West on Kobe. I loved it. Hope ya’ll do too. We must cherish these once in a million unbiased (or biased towards Kobe) pieces from espn……..the “leader” in sports:

    http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs/2009/columns/story?columnist=stein_marc&page=westtake-090613

  42. I don’t know which of the 3 said it but, the most egregious comment that I have heard from any 3-man team was during the early part of game 4. Someone mentioned that “Tommy Heinshon, the excellent TV announcer for the Boston Celtics will be honored with….”.

    Everything that came after that comment, and that includes any combination of words in describing or discussing the game, any behind the scenes banter, asking the assistant for water- none of it made sense after that. This is the age of League Pass. Some of us actually watch games outside of those in our market and then on national television. Anybody who thinks Tommy Heinsohn has done anything excellent which involves constructing sentences with the Celtics, or a Celtic as it’s subject had to have been suffering an aneurysm at that moment. One has to be experiencing the moment of brain irrevocably and horribly damaged to have such a thought. I’ve listened to many political speeches on C-Span and that comment reveals as profoundly cynical regard for the audience. I went through the five stages of “Good Grief”. The Sigh of Disgust. The Squint of Anger. The Far off Gaze of Imagined Motivation. The Head Shaking Reflection on Human Weakness. Falling Back Resigned. The dark places I ventured in trying to figure out what sort of life has to be secretly led for someone to rationalize that statement were Marlowian. It was like listening to the anti-Kurtz.

    We were spoiled by Chick but damn!!!!

  43. This is going to be the second season where we could but won’t be welcomed to watch on, “Your World Champion Lakers basketball network”.

    To me, this is what Chick was all about.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1PCAQYi-RI

  44. So Kurt, not to jinx us or think to far into the future, which we have no control over, but… IF the Lakers win the Championship this year, are you going to have a special FB&G T-shirt made for us fans here. Hey, maybe with that “Your World Champion Lakers basketball network” changed somewhat like you do so good and the year I guess also? I’m just mentioning this now because this blog may be overwhelmed with thousands of comments IF it were to happen.

  45. anyone else laugh at when Pietrus said he was going for the ball in the foul in response to pau being upset about it

  46. On the verge of our 15th Championship you guys got me thinking of the greatest Laker ever Mr. Chick (Chicky Baby) Hern. We all know Chick will be making this call tomorrow from heaven.

    “This game is in the refrigerator. The door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter’s getting hard, and the Jelloooooooooo’s jigglin’!”

  47. Is it just me or does Mark Jackson calls Pietrus Peaches?

  48. 44, Pietrus WAS going for the ball! He was punching through Pau’s back in preparation for reaching around his spine, then pushing his arms out of Pau’s stomach and ultimately grabbing the ball right out of his hands.

    It was clean, dude.

  49. I can’t believe “that’s good defense, just better offense” is not in there.

    (And you could even add a Stu Lance “ism” to the mix – “million dollar move, nickel finish” I heard Jackson say that one a couple time too.)

    Go Lakers.

  50. “This is for all the marbles”

  51. Hi guys.

    2 things.

    1) Jackson is wearing a lovely Laker sweater.

    2) He is standing up during the interview!

  52. I know I brought this up a few days ago, but not much comment – does game 4’s performance seal the deal on Fisher’s #2 being retired? I say yes.

    Let’s close it out tonight and celebrate. Never take these moments for granted.

    GO LAKERS!!!

  53. just heard on espn there’s talk b/t suns and cavs that will possibly send shaq to cleveland.

    shaq already improved this season and the cavs can get quite scary if shaq gets himself into shape, which I think he may very well do b/c he will be motivated to stick it to Kobe (shaq seems rather obsessed w/ Kobe).

  54. I love Derek Fisher, and I have been a big supporter of his even during the rough patches (and, boy, were they rough), but I cannot imagine the Lakers retiring his jersey. We are not the Celtics. We do not retire everyone and their pet leprechaun’s jerseys. I think a retired jersey should not only be for a player who represented the team well but also for a truly special talent.

  55. A few things this morning.

    1) Love Fish, no way his jersey gets hung up in the rafters. Kobe and Shaq yes, those are the only two I can think of right now. (I think we should get a campaign going for Ced Ceballos.)

    2) The Shaq to the cavs rumors were hot at the trade deadline, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see those come back up . On one hand, a healthy Shaq provides a lot of what the Cavs need, but that is a big personality, a big pay day. And, does it keep LeBron in town? Shaq is a one/two year thing.

    3) Jackson stands or sits on his tall chair for all his interviews, due to his hips.

  56. 10 — another one for Bill Walton:

    “Throw it doooown big man!!”

    Hurry back Bill.

  57. Kurt –
    If they hang Ced’s jersey, it should be upside down.

  58. Coffee is for Closers June 14, 2009 at 9:36 am

    OMG, Alexis, LMFAO.

    Something about the prospect of the big Revisionist in Cav-land doesn’t strike fear in my laker blood. What are the odds he stays healthy for another full season? Not to mention, if its to combat dwight howard and the magic, i think orlando’s quickness negates anything shaq brings to the table.

    btw, I believe there’s a ced ceballos HOF plaque at Lake Havasu.

  59. Hang the Ceballos jersey on a dock at Lake Havasu.

  60. Serious question, if the Lakers win today what time would the parade be on Tuesday? Is it 9 am or noon? I’m leaving on a flight that day so I’m trying to plan.

  61. Hey Travis, LA Times reports this –

    “In an e-mail to the downtown community Tuesday, LAPD Capt. Blake Chow said that a Lakers victory parade could happen as soon as Monday, should the team sweep the Orlando Magic in four games. A parade would begin at Staples Center about 11 a.m., travel south on Figueroa and end at the Coliseum about 1 p.m.

    Should it take a bit longer to clinch the title, the parade could be held Wednesday, June 17th (if they win in five games); Friday the 19th (in six games) or Monday the 22nd (if it takes the full seven games).”

  62. No way Fish’s number gets hung up. I love his contributions but his career is nothing near the quality of those to match those who currently hang together. We are talking names like Chamberlain, Baylor, West, Goodrich, Johnson, Worthy, Abdul-Jabbar and obviously the additions of Bryant and O’Neal are automatic.

    Fish’s contributions are more in the order of Cooper, Scott, Horry, Fox, Rambis, Nixon, Wilkes, Hairston and guys of that caliber. I just think a retired number on the Lakers needs to be worn by an all-time great that would have been a star on any team. Fish has found many ways to contribute to a great era in Lakerland but he doesn’t belong in conversations with those greats up in our rafters.

  63. Game preview post up.

    By the way, on the parade front, look for a public battle in the coming days between the city/NBA/Lakers over who will pick up the tab for that one. It’s expensive to block off streets and LA is hurting like most cities. They will want others to pitch in, if not pick up the entire tab.

  64. Everbody has an opinion I guess. I am sure the Celitc fans will be over here saying our Championship this year has an asterisk IF we win it, because we did not win it through them, but they were not here for us to play against.

  65. 62, I think Coop’s the exception there. Of all the guys you mention, including Fish, I think he alone deserves the honor.

    No offense, Josh Powell. You can wear #22.

  66. @ 65 – nope, Elgin Baylor already has #22 spoken for. Whether Coop’s #21 should be retired is something you can debate, though it must be said that for almost any OTHER team, his jersey would assuredly have been retired. Some teams will retire the jersey of anyone who ever averaged 20 pts/game for 2 years in a row.

    #64 – who cares what Celtics fans think? Yes they were better last year, but that was last year. Honestly, this year, with HCA advantage, we beat them if they even make it past the Cavs and Paul Pierce gets mad and spits at Jack Nicholson.

  67. Come on Kurt. Those comments about the C’s weren’t that bad and pardon my arrogance but the first paragraph on everything we learned from losing to the Celtics was pretty funny. Moving picks wins championships was good stuff.

  68. Suggestion for the GUNDY BINGO:

    “Ball movement? MAN MOVEMENT!”