Lakers/Nuggets (Game 6): Full Of Vomit

Rey Moralde —  May 10, 2012

Box Score: Lakers 96, Nuggets 113
Offensive Efficiency: Lakers 101.1, Nuggets 118.9
True Shooting %: Lakers 53.0%, Nuggets 59.6%

Well, before the game, Kobe Bryant was said to have a stomach ailment. Everyone and their mothers and pets immediately compared this to the Jordan Flu Game of 1997. Never mind that this is a first round contest while Michael did this in the Finals.

The game was sick. And Kobe was sick.

Both literally.

The box score really doesn’t indicate on how bad the Lakers played. The Nuggets KILT the Lakers tonight. Not even KILLED. KILT. The final score doesn’t indicate how bad it was, either. Granted, the Lakers had a chance to do something after halftime as they were only down nine. But nope. Ty Lawson was running circles all over them. And he was making pretty much everything (well, nearly… 13/18 from the field and 5/6 beyond the arc for 32 points). But even still, the Nuggets could’ve started Vicki Lawson from Small Wonder and the Lakers would probably get smashed.

The effort of the Lakers? Pretty much pitiful. I feel like I bring more effort to toasting bread than what the Lakers brought in Pepsi Center *sips Pepsi* earlier. Only Kobe seemed to bring it… and HE’S THE SICK GUY that was pretty much ready to throw up all over the bench or maybe Andrew Bynum’s fro. Speaking of Bynum, he was bullied by the Nuggets bigs. Even if JaVale McGee didn’t have a big game due to foul trouble, the others picked up the slack. Once again, don’t be fooled by Bynum’s 11-point, 16-rebound, 4-block… “effort.” He seemed to be loafing a lot of the time and I’m quite surprised he was able to get those numbers (seriously, you can’t defend his performance tonight). Imagine if he was actually following his note to himself after Game 1.

This is the worst game I’ve ever seen Pau Gasol play. He, too, was getting bullied by the Nuggets. His line DEFINITELY tells the whole story. 1 for 10. Three points. Three rebounds. People tweeted me that last year was worse… but Gasol never scored less than eight points in a playoff game last year. THREE POINTS. THREE REBOUNDS. Those stats alone tell the story.

Ramon Sessions played scared. He’s had so many open looks as the Nuggets treat him like he’s Rajon Rondo. When he penetrates, he’s fine. But the Nuggets are daring him to shoot the perimeter jumper and he’s like a teenager who has never touched a girl ready to go on his first date. Ramon has stage fright and he HAS to get over that VERY SOON.

Matt Barnes still can’t make a shot (2/8). Devin Ebanks is, well, Devin Ebanks. Steve Blake is just about what you expected (but, hey, he didn’t turn the ball over?). At least, it looked like Jordan Hill tried (8 points, 6 rebounds) but he’s not enough help for Kobe. Kobe should be commended for even going out there and playing his ass off (31 points, 13/23) but it’s obvious that he needs more help. And the bigs failed him.

The Nuggets, meanwhile, have confidence that is absolutely sky high right now. Kenneth Faried outhustled everybody the entire game (16 points and 11 boards). Danilo Gallinari is getting a little more dangerous with his outside shot and passed the ball well (12 points, 7 assists). Andre Miller continues to school everyone with his rec league game (12 points). And this was Corey Brewer’s flu game except without the flu (18 points). I wouldn’t be surprised if Brewer gained all of his hair back after this game; he was that awesome tonight.

The Denver Nuggets seem to be clones of Mortal Kombat’s Kano tonight; they absolutely ripped the Lakers’ hearts out. I don’t know if the Laker fan would be more disgusted of watching this game, last year’s Game 4 against Dallas, or 2 Girls 1 Cup. The margin should’ve been 75 at the end of this contest. It was bad. Putrid. Disgusting. Filthy. I wish Kobe did really throw up all over Pepsi Center. And at this point, I’m just doing word vomit so I should end this write-up soon.

The good news? There’s STILL Game 7. It’s at Staples Center. But I don’t blame you for not being so confident about it. After all, the Nuggets beat the Lakers in their house in Game 5. If the Lakers match Denver’s intensity on Saturday night, then the Lakers should be okay. But in this up and down season, we’ve nearly seen everything and I’m sure you guys aren’t going to be surprised if the Lakers do something wacky in their most important game of the season.

Another tidbit? Ron Artest/Metta World Peace returns. He’ll provide some much-needed D and he’ll be unfairly asked to save the Lakers’ season. I honestly don’t know what to expect. Will he give a boost or will he be so rusty that it’ll throw off the Lakers’ chemistry? Oh, hey, joke’s on me! THEY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY RIGHT NOW.

But in a way, this Game 7 is all bad news. The Oklahoma City Thunder (Derek Fisher is giggling like a schoolgirl) are waiting in the wings, licking their lips on what they’re going to do to either the Lakers or the Nuggets. And if the Lakers do advance, how the hell are the Laker guards going to handle Russell Westbrook? Well, we probably shouldn’t even think about that. Remember when I said not to talk about OKC in my Game 4 recap? And then Bynum mouthed off that closeout games are easy? Yeah.

Oh, well. That’s that. I’ve said enough. Go ahead and complain on the comments below. I’m going to go listen to Boyz II Men now.

Rey Moralde