Joel Meyers Catchphrases

Kurt —  January 17, 2010

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Short-corner three. Points off Turnovers. There are countless others.

Lakers television play-by-play broadcaster Joel Meyers has plenty of catch phrases he falls back on. So, as was done with Mark Jackson last playoffs, we’re going to create Joel Meyers Bingo.

But I want your suggestions — what are your favorite Meyers phases? What needs to be in the center square? Post them in the comments and we’ll have something up later in the week. Have fun with it.


to Joel Meyers Catchphrases

  1. The length of…

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  2. The second unit (emphasis on the “U”)

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  3. That shot bothered by the length of Andrew Bynum!

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  4. And that’s how it begins…

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  5. The midrange game

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  6. Didn’t settle for the three

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  7. The best in the game (referring to Kobe)

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  8. Bang! Kobe does it again!

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  9. Sunderland or Meyers?

    Who do you all prefer?

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  10. Real early (referring to shot clock)

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  11. “gotta get it done on this end though…”

    “DOES IT AGAIN! Is he amazing or what?”

    and if “Are you kidding me?!?” isn’t the center square I don’t know what is…..

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  12. Thirding “length of…”.

    Also “through the five-hole”.

    And he’s stopped over the last few seasons, he used to say “dozen” or “half-dozen” or “two dozen” or “dozen and a half” (you get the idea) about 500 times a game.

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  13. In rhythm…

    Definitely agree with “Are you kidding me” as the center

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  14. “any type of shot ..game”
    “best finisher in the game”

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  15. swedishmeatballs January 17, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Isn’t “Are you kidding me” more of a Stu Lantz phrase? I can recall him saying that on numreous occasions. Maybe I’m mistaken?

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  16. got it!

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  17. Don’t forget the contest by…

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  18. “Are you kidding me?!” is definitely Lantz.

    And Jon, Sunderland all the way, baby; he’s enthusiastic in an non-annoying way.

    As for Meyers, how about the following:

    “And (…) takes it away from (…) – referring to rebounds.”

    “Short out of his hands.” – this one’s a recent one, and he also includes it on a lot of free-throws. Anyone else notice?

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  19. “Free for three …”

    or is he saying “Three for three”, I can never tell

    “Good contest by ______”

    “____ popping up for the shot”

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  20. nothing tops Stu’s
    ” That was……………..Noaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!”

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  21. I need to second “the mid-range game.”

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  22. “And he’s… going to the line looking for the three-point play!”

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  23. chownoir (was J) January 17, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    No one mentioned short corner three yet?

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  24. #18: “Sunderland…in a non-annoying way.” That’s sarcasm, right?

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  25. Calling Lamar Odom’s left arm his “extendo-arm,” which actually I don’t particularly enjoy.

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  26. Jon,

    Sunderland, definitely!

    His big problem was he followed Chick.

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  27. “Do you think he bothered that one?”

    PS -chownoir -> reading comprehension fail

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  28. “Not even close”

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  29. Have to second the “Got it!” phrase.

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  30. Who says Mama, there goes that man.

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  31. @ DTM
    Mark Jackson

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  32. “Short-corner three” has to be in the middle, he says that no matter who makes the shot, Lakers or the opposition and like every single time a corner three is made, I could set my clock to it.

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  33. Joel’s annoying, a lot more this season than in the past. But Sunderland was far worse.

    Others have already listed most of the most-common ones. One no one had that always annoys me is when he mentions watching other games “on the League Pass,” as if he’s trying to justify to the audience that he follows the NBA.

    If I could cram any one phrase up or down an appropriate Joel hole, never to be heard from again, it would “short corner three.” It’s a Berman-esque level of stupidity and schtick.

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  34. i am thirding the “got it” and a whole barrage of ways to praise kobe… he did it again, give me a break, the best closer (in the game), are you kidding me?…

    also likes the way he pronounces la-mar in all nasal glory! the nasal tone is worth having.

    but i agree, he has yet to top stu’s that was niiiicceeee (plus that response to joel’s: he is hard to believe when he said: no he’s not) and may i add (after rasual butler raining it down last night) the clipper commentator’s BIIIINNNGGOOO!…i mean, can’t get generic a line than that.

    a great duo (really balanced, easy to the layman and fun) we are blessed with. GO LAKERS!

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  35. erratum…kidding me was stu’s line

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  36. “Too strong.”

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  37. I tweeted this also. I’ll post it for all…

    “It’s anyone’s game now!”

    after the Lakers blow a lead.

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  38. I love Sunderland’s call for the Lakers vs. Portland game (where Kobe hit 2 buzzer beaters). He really showed his enthusiasm and still to this day I have no idea why the Lakers let him go.

    Joel has done an admirable job, but I’m not wowed by him by any means. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Chick all these years, but man…he was the best announcer of any sport (yes, including Scully. Why? Because Chick is the only one who kept up with the breakneck speed of basketball).

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  39. “long deuce”

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  40. In Joel’s defense, there is a “long” corner three, it’s just on the opposing end of the court…

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  41. Jon: No, I actually really liked the dude.

    aB: Seriously, me too – it’s like they blamed their 34-48 in 2005 on the announcer.

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  42. ‘let’s see how they finish the quarter…’

    (followed by banal statements such as ‘the lakers are down by 9, let’s see if they can cut the deficit to [insert arbitrary number])….’

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  43. Noticed this one more lately and mentioned it in the game thread the other night:

    He’ll say “Don’t forget” after noting how a Laker defender closed out and contested an opponent’s miss. Thanks Joel for reminding me after I just witnessed it seconds ago.

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  44. lil’ pau:

    Hahaha. That has to be one of the most consistent sayings. Like clockwork.

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  45. Actually lil pau, I think Stu says that quite a bit too.

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  46. “That’s a break for the Lakers…”

    There was another one that was bugging me a few weeks ago… can’t recall of hand though. We need to keep this post open over the course of a game so we can watch with it in mind…

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  47. right online but long

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  48. Sunderland was underrated. I miss him.
    I also miss Matt “Money” Smith on pre & post game.

    I’m not really impressed by any of the Lakers announcers, but I don’t really dislike them either.
    At least we didn’t end up with a Ralph Lawler type.
    Mychal makes me groan (in a good way most of the time) with his puns. But he gets a free pass for life with what he meant to our championship teams.
    I hate Spero using “the elbow”
    The one shtick Stu has that makes me cringe is when he does “Mr. Mo Mentum” is changing jerseys. You could totally tell Chick hated it too. It disappeard for a while, but since Chick’s been gone, it’s come back.
    They all use “it’s a game of runs” way too much.

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  49. Yeah, Joel, thanks for clarifying it. Otherwise I might think they were shooting a “long corner three.”

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  50. I’ll enjoy this Bingo version much better than the previous…….I can deal with Joel’s catch phrases, but Mark Jackson is a pain to listen to. I’m embarrassed for him every time he says “hands down, man down” I am embarrassed for him.

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  51. “(insert player name) for THREE… nope they called it a two, the official had his hand up then put it down.”

    “I though it was a 3 too,(insert player name”

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  52. Right hand sighting

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  53. “Let Shannondunk.com”… you’d think he’s the campaign manager as passionate as he plugs this.

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  54. Interrupting Hot Rod before he finishes his mumble.

    And count me in for Team Sunderland. I always loved his fan-like excitement for the game, especially his Kobe at Portland call that #38 mentions.

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  55. I just particularly love his voice… the baritone, the emphasis on “U” in unit… and how he meshes with Stu’s “length” and “…kidding me”…

    I think Joel has the voice that would resonate in movies and television like James Earl Jones has his stamped on “this is CNN international.”

    Shout out to Anthony Hopkins too, saying “Clarisse” … 😀

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  56. I’m not sure, but I think he says “(insert player name) stops on a dime!” quite a bit.

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  57. Sunderland was a mediocrity, but compared to these clowns, he’s Chick, Vin Scully, Howard Cosell, and John Keats all rolled into one.

    Money was the guy I hoped would move into the role… smart guy, and a fan as well…

    Seriously, I’ve started watching the games with the sound off… Looking forward to the bingo– at least I’ll know others out there are sharing in the cliche-fest.

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  58. 45, you’re right: a confederacy of dunces, but still initiated enough by Joel (>50%) to warrant inclusion, imo. Oh yes, I neglected to mention the parallel line (just after halftime): ‘Let’s see how they start the second half…’

    Hey, that’s a great idea– in fact, that’s why I’m watching the game!

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  59. REAL short!

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  60. It was long/short leaving his hand.

    Presumably as opposed to being a perfect shot that nevertheless missed when adversely affected by air circulation.

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  61. and too much arch/not enough arch/too flat/a frozen rope

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  62. Favorite phrases??? Well, NONE. Put Spiro on TV and Radio, get rid of Mykael “I am the worst color commentator ever” Thompson and join Spiro with Stu.

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  63. Joel’s pronounciation of quarter (qwarter) has got to get an honorable mention.

    I strongly disliked Paul Sunderland & was thrilled when he hit the bricks. I would love to see Spiro on TV; he is skilled beyond his years and far better than most NBA play-by-play guys. And MannyP13, it’s Mychal. I like him. He’s entertaining.

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  64. I know it’s early…
    Kod.. Kiss of death

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  65. Stu did this a whole lot last season…

    “(insert player name) says, ‘(insert something silly that the player definitely did not say.)'”

    For example… “Kobe says, ‘You wanna try that on ME?'” or “Phil says, ‘Let me call a timeout so we can talk this over.'” or “Lamar says, ‘If you leave me that open, I can knock it downnn.'” Stu just always knows what they’re (not) saying.

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  66. Don’t know if anyone has said it yet but Joel will give out an enthusiastic “GOT IT!” when the shotclock’s running down on a prayer pull up J’.

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  67. “the pull up game.”

    “X was a non factor” even though X scored 17.

    The most annoying catchphrase in all of sports has to be “right between the eyes” by whatshisname on TNT. Yeah, I like to put something right between HIS eyes.

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  68. “He affected that one, didn’t he?”

    When he gets excited that Drew altered a shot as if it’s something extraordinary and not something he should be doing most of the time.

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  69. “Do you believe this guy?”

    when Kobe gets hot

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  70. “Right on line, but long”

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  71. I wanna hear “Herman Munster feet.”

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  72. “Not close.”

    strong/short “out of his hand”

    “defensive breakdown”

    “left hand!”

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  73. Someone coming off a baseline screen:
    “… off the rub down low…”

    As the ball is in the air and someone like Sasha is shooting it:
    “… NEEDS IT!”

    The Lakers are down 10:
    “The Lakers could use an 8-0 run right about now”
    (How about a 10-0 run, Joel? Or, hell 20-0)

    But my biggest pet peeve about Joel is when someone like Kobe kicks it out to a teammate for a jumper, the teammate misses, and Joel says, “Can’t give Kobe the assist..”

    That phrase is stupid on many levels. FIrst of all, what’s more important about that shot going in – giving Kobe an assist or giving the Lakers 2 points? Second, the whole point of the notion of the ‘assist’ is that one player essentially ‘gave’ another player an easy opportunity to score. So to talk about the shooter giving the passer the assist, is a backassward way of thinking of things. Basically

    Granted, there are times when the shooter makes a tough shot and it IS like he gave the passer the assist. But in that case, again, he should probably be talking about the shot not the pass, right?

    I just don’t follow him.

    As for Stu, 2 words: “Pau Kasow.”

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  74. @sdj (5:29 p.m.): Since it is in fact called “the elbow,” if that’s the worst thing that Spero does, we’re doing all right.

    Stu is the one I can think of with the most catch phrases, mostly because he’s been on the longest of the crew. Phrases like “don’t give up the three-pointer,” “the dagger,” “noice,” “that will git it done,” should all be on the tip of listeners’ eardrums.

    Getting upset by “short corner three” is like getting upset by “frozen tundra”: We all know it’s redundant (or semi-nonsensical), who gives a damn? Plus it’s a force of nature, there’s nothing you can do about it.

    Bonus credit: “Right between the eyes” is Kevin Harlan, I believe. As is “He sucked the gravity out of the [insert stadium].” Mike Breen does “Bang!” as in “Kobe, for the win, BANG!” Breen has a very unusual delivery, which I think rubs lots of people the wrong way. I used to not like Lawler for being too much like watching hoops with an unkempt uncle, but he’s beginning to grow on me. But his color guy, Mike Smith (?)–man, that guy is Annoying with a capital A. (Don’t get me started on Vitale–oops, too late.)

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  75. i like joel and stu both. if i had to single out an irritation with either (and this being the internet, of course i do) it is with stu’s constant basketball lab. i like worthy’s explanations (maybe because there’s just two a game), but stu sounds too much like a frustrated coach. and for catchphrase “bigs don’t like it out there where the air gets thin.”

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  76. “That one never had a chance”

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  77. The one that always gets me about Joel is when he talks about a player that he and Stu really like. Every one of these guys is a great player and a better kid according to Joel. On top of that he really liked them and knew they could play when he saw them in the summer league.

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  78. “Downtown Brown”

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  79. Joel always mentions when “dreaded boston” or anyone close to Lakers in the standings loses. He’ll say “Thank you (fill in team who beats them)”

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  80. “And I bring it up because…” is used at least once a game without fail.

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  81. “They need to clean it up”
    or
    “That was a real clean quarter”

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  82. “inside the restraining arc” – does Joel still say that? I’ve never heard anyone else call it that.

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  83. I feel like we’re glossing over the obvious…..

    the center square for Joel has to be…..

    THE SCORE!!!!!!!!! He references it on every basket, as if KCAL and FSN have yet to crack the score ticker technology……

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  84. Taken from my post on the “Fire Joel Meyers” Facebook page:

    Let’s not forget the incessant use of “face-up game”. What? As opposed to standing backwards and throwing it over your head? I know what he means, but does he have to say it EVERY time? I really can’t stand the guy. He sounds like he swallowed an AM radio from the 60’s. I am almost 52 years old………I grew up with Chick and miss him terribly. But time marches on. There HAS to be someone better than this schmuck. Paul Sunderland was innocuous enough but I hear that Meyers did some behind the scenes backstabbing to get him fired. Just what I heard. They should switch Meyers with the radio guy, Spiro Dedes. Pair him w/Stu and Meyers can work with the equally annoying Mychal Thompson. That would work.

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  85. I can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned. Joel says this at least 5 times a game. Whenever he makes a mistake and realizes it he follows it up by saying “make that..” For example, Kobe scores his 20th point of the game, and Joel says, “Kobe, with his 18th, make that, 20th point of the game.” Drives me crazy.

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  86. aaaaaallthe way to the rack..

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  87. For anyone interested, seems like Joel isn’t a very good person:

    http://articles.latimes.com/2006/mar/24/sports/sp-tvcol24

    “Joel Meyers, Sunderland’s replacement, was accused, particularly on talk radio, of politicking to move from radio to television.

    “The reason given at the time was that the ratings were down and sponsors were complaining. But the Lakers’ poor play obviously was keeping the ratings down. Was that Sunderland’s fault?”

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  88. Incidentally, I never thought there was much difference between Sundy and Joel. Although Sundy seems less full of himself as a person. I’d much prefer Spero to either of those guys as the TV announcer.

    Another habit of Joel’s that I forgot to mention: Speaking of him giving the score after each basket (R.J. 4:40 p.m.), he has weird articulation on it, too. Say it’s 95-86, Lakers. The Lakers score a deuce, and of course Joel gives the score. Four times out of five, it seems, he’ll say it “ninety-seven, eighty-six.” And if the Lakers were down, 95-86, and they scored, he’ll say it “ninety-five, eighty-eight.” Like the wrong score changed. It’s weird, and I have no idea why he does it that way.

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  89. “too easy”

    “long deuce”

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  90. i dont think nothing beats stu lantz when he sais

    “MAMMMMBA”

    Or when joel sais “Another layup”

    ” A layup ” when real good shooters make it from about 15 feet wide open

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  91. “the flush” – in place of slam or slamdunk

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